I wish academics were more normal
I legitimately believe that science could be improved if people could be more normal. I'm in theoretical ecology and I love my field. But at the end of the day, it's not directly saving the world. I think my work is important, don't get me wrong, but it's a job. My salary is about $60,000. I wish it was more, but I can pay rent. I can buy interesting groceries to make interesting meals. I can buy video games (Veilguard is bad though). I can buy sewing material. I can go watch movies and musicals. I can go get a baked treat and drink boba tea. I can buy really interesting vegetable seeds and fail in making it grow. I can go see my best friend in New Haven and we can go eat at this all you-can-eat sushi place. I can buy my wife stupid things. I am trying to remind myself that I have a life outside of academia.
I feel like as an academic, you're not suppose to describe your career like that. It's suppose to be god-given calling. This burning desire to uncover the truth. This inherent need to compete and win. Sure. But most people who I talk to are faculty with grad students and postdocs. They talk of their passion as if it exists by itself. They are the lone conqueror with a faceless army at their beck and call. The glory that they seek is tossing manpower to the grinding machine. That is their passion.
I am a very selfish person, and I would like my passion to not involve other people. I don't want my passion to burn so hot that I burn the people under me with the pressure of doing more. Frankly, is it truly my passion if I have to demand so much of other people? Is it truly my intellectual career? Is it truly my own life?