I stood up for myself because of Samantha Jones from Sex and the City
My wife and I been watching Sex And The City. We've been so fascinated by this TV show and it has a terrible grip on us. Of course, everyone has a favorite character. Everybody love-hates Carrie Bradshaw. Everybody loves and desires to be Miranda Hobbes (except marrying Steve). Does anyone like Charlotte? I aspire to be Samantha Jones from Sex and the City. This might be strange to anyone who knows me.
For one thing, I'm a lesbian.
Samantha Jones is an infamous maneater.
I'm a lowly postdoc.
Samantha Jones is in charge of her own PR company.
I'm deathly afraid of confrontations.
Samantha Jones is not.
I always avoided confrontation. I don't think it's a genetic thing because my older sister is never afraid of confronting anyone. She's a New Yorker, though. Recently, I've been in situations where I feel like my ego is just being kicked around as a toy. When you're a postdoc, you're supposed to take it. And I have taken it to the point that my mental health had been very, very bad.
Perhaps, this is a dangerous post to write when I'm on a job market. But I was reading this entire blog post about how all academics are fearful. This is me. Fearful of confrontation because I'm fearful of upsetting my bosses and I'm fearful of not getting the recommendation letter because I'm fearful of not getting a tenure track job. I'm letting my own fear prevent me from standing up for myself. What is the ultimate root of this fear? Not getting a tenure track job? Is my life that small that this is what I cower for? There's better things to fear!
I don't want to be fearful anymore!
So I stood up for myself thinking about Samantha Jones.
Samantha Jones would take no shit!