I don't care very much
I've been thinking a lot about the musical Cabaret. It's about ordinary people dealing with the rise of fascism- very topical! The musical is pointedly critical of the main characters for being politically apathetic. But... it's also sympathetic to them.
For example, the Emcee is Queer. The ending of Cabaret (or the production with Alan Cumming) has the bleak ending of him in the concentration camp. He wasn't blind to the rise of fascism... But what could he have done? I think I now better understand the song: I don't care very much.
He cares a whole lot. The lyrics say one thing, but his performance says another. He's in hopeless despair - the world is burning, he is not asleep like the others. But what can he do?
In some way, the world is burning. And I don't know what to do. Every day I'm working on my little modeling project for my little postdoc. I'm stressing out about getting this paper submitted. But it's super funny because... It just seems so irrelevant to the bigger problems. But if I doomscroll on the destruction of America, I feel utterly helpless and paralyzed.
I don't care very much. But I care a lot.